Navigating Weight Gain in Relationships: Communicating Health Concerns with Respect

Published on November 13, 2023, 12:55 am

In today’s Ask Amy column, Amy Dickinson addresses a wife who is struggling with how to approach her husband about his recent weight gain. The reader admits that she can be bossy and controlling, but acknowledges that her husband has the right to make his own choices as long as they don’t affect her. However, she is concerned about his health as he has put on a significant amount of weight and now has a large waistline.

The reader shares that she has offered unsolicited advice in the past but feels that this time it’s important for her husband to realize the need for change. She had hoped that a recent doctor’s visit would prompt him to take action, but it seems like the doctor didn’t address his weight issue.

Amy suggests that doctors might be hesitant to discuss weight concerns due to current societal dynamics. However, considering that the husband was thin until 20 years ago, it’s possible that this weight gain has been gradual over time. Amy notices that the reader still tends to lean toward trying to control her husband despite her efforts to change.

Offering unsolicited advice may not be helpful at this point because the husband likely already knows he is overweight. Amy advises the reader to have an open conversation with her husband instead of trying to dictate what he should do. She recommends asking if there are ways they can work together towards a healthier lifestyle. For example, suggesting taking daily walks together or finding activities they both enjoy.

Ultimately, Amy believes that constantly worrying, pushing, and interfering may not yield favorable results. The reader’s husband needs to take responsibility for his own life and health without feeling pressured by his wife.

In conclusion, it’s crucial for couples to communicate openly and respectfully about health concerns. Rather than attempting to control or dictate their partner’s choices, it is more effective to seek mutual understanding and find ways to support each other in leading a healthier lifestyle together.